Well here I am, moping and moaning about my self defeat. I can tell you it aint a pretty sight. All I ever wanted to do was write. And I know I'm good at it. Why the fuck did I have to go and be a sound engineer of all things. I'm fucking sick of all this filmy crap!!
Don't you wish you could freeze time, or better yet, rewind and change all the mistakes you've made? I didn't.. until now. I've been through a lot of shit in my life (pardon the sudden bout of self pity), and I've never once wanted to change things, because as I've been taught, we are the sum of our experiences. But this is one trip I'd love to to just see vanish down the poop chute. I think I've wasted enough time already. Now suddenly the regret has come like a damn bursting, and with it, has brought along feelings of contempt and hatred towards the actions I've taken in the past.
'Oh.. it's a thing of the past' is what we say so matter-of-factly, but what decisions we've taken in the past make us what we are today, and what we choose to do now, will determine our future. So I choose to make a change now. Like right fucking NOW!! I choose to get the fuck out of where I am and start afresh. I choose to leave this stupid filmy industry and get a move on with my life. Move on to something worthwhile; something I'm good at doing. I choose not to lose my sanity over something that's not worth losing my sanity over (although anyone reading this probably already thinks I'm insane). What the fuck.. I don't give a shit anymore. Because I'm out!!
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